Picks and Pains

Wednesday, October 27th

That’s right boys and girls, I’m back! After a brief respite, your resident movie critic is here and ready to get to work.

First on the chopping block, Justin Bieber’s new movie, Never Say Never. Yeah, that’s all I really need to say. On a brighter note, I hear that Guantanamo Bay is eager for it’s release, though it’s already been banned in forty states as a form of ‘cruel and unusual punisment.’

Next up, Saw 3D. I know, another Saw movie. However, this is the last one (or so they claim), and I’ve been a fan of the series, so I’m looking forward to the conclusion. I don’t expect much, but at least we’ll be done hearing “I’d like to play a game,” every Halloween.

This just in, Inception and The Dark Knight director Chris Nolan has announced the title for the next Batman movie in his epic series. After leaving us with a cliffhanger of Batman taking Harvey’s fall in The Dark Knight, I’ve been looking forward to any news of the next film. Now, we know two things: it is titled The Dark Knight Rises, and the Riddler won’t be the villain. Being a huge Batman fan, I’m excited, and I’ll be sure to keep this updated with any news.

Last for today, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 is soon to be released. Though I love the series and I am looking forward to this, I am disheartened by the Hollywood tactic of splitting the movie into two parts. This reeks of nothing more than an excuse to make more money, but we’ll have to see how it turns out.

Wednesday, December 8th

With the Holidays on the way, there are many new movies coming out to draw in viewers. Naturally, most of them look like garbage. However, there are a few that don’t give off a foul odor.

Oh God, they’re making another Narnia movie? I simply despised the first two, mostly because they were incredibly silly and cutesy without having any real story value. Regardless, I have no doubt that The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader will be much more of the same formula.

I think Hollywood is getting very desperate if they’ve resorted to combining genres in order to get views. The Warrior’s Way is their latest attempt to combine ninjas…and cowboys. I know, I did a double take too. Whoever okayed this movie should be fired. I only saw the trailers, but that was enough. It’s rather entertaining to watch the choreographed fight scenes, but where there are cowboys…shouldn’t there be guns? I didn’t see one six-shooter in the trailer, just more katanas. This movie is exactly what one would expect from hearing about the synopsis, utter ridiculousness.

However, the second attempt to join genres, Cowboys and Aliens, looks rather entertaining. With Daniel Craig as a confused, but deadly man, and Harrison Ford as a dangerous outlaw, you’ve got yourself the basis for an interesting cowboy movie. Throw an alien attack, and you have yourself a future blockbuster. The title made me groan, but the acting and effects look really well put together. Regardless of how it turns out, I will definitely be in line for this one.

Finally, I recently stumbled upon a trailer of the upcoming Green Hornet movie with Seth Rogan as the lead. I wasn’t sure about Seth Rogan being a superhero, but after watching the trailer I am thouroughly convinced. It looks incredibly entertaining; chock full of action, witty dialouge, and laughs throughout. Also, Christoph Waltz, best known for his portrayal of Colonel Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds, is going to be the villain. I cannot put into words how excited that makes me.